On tuesday I performed my first public poetry reading.  While it was exhilarating, no one showed up, however, after doing that my resolve to publish grew stronger and I now feel more confident in what I am doing. 

Also, that dreadful math class that kept me from sleeping this first part of the summer has concluded today.  As long as I get an 80 or higher on the final, I will receive an A, which means yay for my GPA.  

Honor is a forgotten word in society.  It hurts me to realize that.

sleeping soul

Is anyone waiting for me on the otherside?  I feel like my soul will never rest.   Perhaps I'm always meant to wonder this spiritual plane, just shelling all kinds of different people because that's what the universe wants. 

lights at 3 months

Everytime the lights go out I long for her, but her absence leaves me more lonely than one person should be.  I really do believe she is all I truly have, and it scares me.   

It could end as fast as it happened, and it would be her choice.  I'm scared of that choice.

Summer class is killing me.  I hate math, but more importantly, I hate being bored with a class.  In this case, I'm "learning" things I learned many years ago in this place called high school.  

I haven't been writing much lately because of work and school.  Hopefully my poetry reading will go well.  

Anyways I have to add this: 

through the nights/of dimmed lights and louching/breaking the world block by block/stranded in a plane of thought/ as the waves sing/and the moon erupts/there is no bridge that I haven't burned

I remain because all I need is pain.  

I live for the moment when everything will truly be perfect.  Lately, I feel like I'm getting closer. 

I feel like someone is ripping my heart out. 

I want to cry. 

I am crying. 

I'm still here, but do you want me gone? 

The glorious sushi.  

I'm going to attempt to blog more often, though I know only the girlfriend reads this right now.  I still think writing in this would help me so I will, but honestly right now I'm heading off to bed.  I have a lot of shit to do tomorrow before work. 

2000 years of 85 miles per hour love

I had a vision in which a god, yes white hair and white beard, had a samurai sword and he cut me in half telling me that 2000 years of chasing has taken it's toll on me.   There was a thunder storm and pouring rain, then next I was floating in space.  I started to slowly spin and my hand extended pointing to a star.  Everything became white and I was taking very deep breaths.   I let out a scream and next thing I know I was sitting in my car going about 85 on the highway.   At this point I was like oh fuck and looked around to see if any cops were trying to pull me over, thankfully no.   Oh how I love how that shit happens at the worst times for me.