I'm sitting here just passing the time before work.  It's funny how just a couple months ago I would have never dreamed I'm in the situation that I'm in.  I feel like I'm with someone that I can plan a future with.  My credit card debt is shrinking.  I'm just an all around happy guy.  

Finals are almost over, which means I'll have time to get some poems together and submit them for publication.  I've become aware to the fact that if I do get some poems published, getting into grad school with be much easier.

The girlfriend has been "bugging" me to update this thing.  It isn't that I haven't had anything to say, emotion wise I'm trying to internalize everything both for the sake of others and for myself, so nothing uber emotional here.  I just need to get time to do a lot of the things I want to do and because of work and school it just isn't possible. 

This is one of those days I wish I weren't here.  It is the day where everything gets fucked up and there is nothing I can do about it.  I have a feeling that I'm losing everyone and everything.   I was doing good with gambling and then poof I fucked that up.   I lost too much.   I'm just a fuck up.  

I'm going on about 3 hours of sleep or so, not really sure what time I fell asleep, all I know is that I have to work my ass off tonight to finish that fucking paper for provang.  

On top of the shit storm I forgot Cara's gift.  I really hope she likes it, well I know she will like it, I just hope she doesn't have it.  But the way my day is going I wouldn't be a bit surprised if she has it.  

School is also furthering this once held idea that I should not go to school for any art forms.

you are who you say you are

I'm supposed to be doing school work right now but I can't concentrate.   The only work I can find myself wanting to do is working on my fiction and screenwriting portfolios and saying fuck you to my Renaissance Literature paper due on friday.  

Thus far I have a page written.  Fun shit really not but really.   

I'm writer not a scholar.  I'm a philosopher, an artist, and an all around moody, pain in the ass.  

Not to mention my stomach keeps churning and I want a cigarette.  

If the fire goes out will you keep me warm?

So it's Easter, and yes, my family never does anything for Easter.   I'm sitting here listening to metric and copying DVDs.  Woot for pirating.

I don't really have much to say other than this weekend was beautiful.   

Now time to pay bills...yay!

So today has not been a good day for me.  I feel like I'm losing it.  I can't take criticism today.   I came to the realization that I just may be a horrible writer.   Why do I even bother? 

never finish rivalry malfunction

Unfortunately, I'm letting this blog fall by the wayside.  I'm not entirely sure why this happens all the time.  Perhaps I never finish what I start...Oh wait, that's true!  If it weren't for school I would never attempt to publish anything.  

I just watched UNC beat Michigan State.  I'm glad, though not glad because I'm a UNC fan, but I hate Michigan State, because Magic Johnson played for them.  Magic Johnson was a Laker for those who didn't know, and the Lakers are my sworn enemy.  Boston, Larry Bird, okay so when I started this I never thought it would come out as a history lesson.  The Boston Celtics and the LA Lakers have THE rivalry of the NBA...it is the yankee-red sox rivalry.   Well as it turns out, Johnson played for Michigan State in College.  They won the finals his senior year.  The team they beat was Larry Bird's team.  It transcended into the NBA.  Therefore, after this long exposition, I am still glad UNC won.  

I'm buying a new ipod soon.  Mine is starting to malfunction because it is so old.